Pizza Tequila Photographs
by yesliterally
Summary: Meredith, Izzie, Cristina, and Lexie spend an enlightening evening dicussing everything from pizza guys to their first times, from their co-workers' bed prowess to hot hollywood actors. Slight I/A. One shot.


**Pizza. Tequila. Photographs**

This is what happens when Meredith, Izzie, Cristina and Lexie get together for a girls night.

I own nothing.

* * *

"Got the alcohol!" Izzie announced as she walked in the door of the place she had called home for the past three years.

"Thank God!" Cristina said as she grabbed the bag from Izzie's arms.

The dark haired woman began to unload bottles of tequila, rum, vodka, and wine from the bag, while Izzie sat a second bag on the kitchen table. Daiquiri mix, margarita mix, orange juice, cranberry juice, limes and salt were placed next to the alcohol.

"Anyone order the pizza?" Izzie inquired.

"It'll be here in thirty minutes or less or its free," Meredith yelled coming down the stairs.

"Think we could get it for free if we flashed the pizza boy?"

"Cristina!"

"What? I'm just saying."

The girls went about opening the various bottles and preparing their favorite drinks.

"We've got the house to ourselves tonight, right?"

"Yep, Alex is on call all night and George is ... "

"George is sound asleep at the apartment," Lexie said as she walked into the kitchen. "I let myself in. Hope its all right."

"Sure. We invited you didn't we?" Meredith was really, really trying with her half-sister. She had decided that she wasn't a bad person and was making an effort to get to know her.

"Okay. Well, George just got home from a 24 hour shift. We won't be hearing from him anytime soon."

"Derek won't show up unexpectedly, will he?"

"He is at the hospital, too. Plus he knows its a girls night, and that he must stay far, far away."

they occupied their time before the food arrived by starting the night off with tequila shots, so by the time the doorbell rang, they were all a little bit giggly. Cristina moved toward the door first, drink in hand.

She opened the door to find a boy, who couldn't have been more than sixteen, holding four pizzas.

"Four pizzas?"

"Yep."

"That'll be 32.13."

"I don't suppose you'll give it to us for free if we gave you a nice look at the girls?"

The boy looked confused for a second and then turned a shade of red Cristina wasn't sure she'd ever seen before.

"Cristina! Don't embarrass the poor kid," Meredith said coming up behind her holding two 20s in her hand.

Cristina took the pizzas in her free hand, still holding her drink in the other.

"What did she do this time?" Izzie joined them and was promptly handed the boxes of food, as Cristina walked back into the kitchen for a refill.

"She embarassed the pizza boy. Sorry about that, um, Jeremy," Meredith read from the tag on his shirt.

But he wasn't looking at Meredith.

"Oh my God. You're Bethany Whisper. From the magazine."

Izzie looked at Meredith, debating how to react.

"Um, yeah. That's me. Nice to meet you, Jeremy." She leaned into his ear, and lowered her voice. "You can keep the change. Have a good night."

Meredith could hardly contain her laughter when the boy moved the change pouch he was holding in his hands to hide his crotch. As soon as the door was shut, both women burst into laughter.

They put the pizzas on the coffee table in the living room. Lexie and Cristina joined them with all of the drinks.

"What's so funny?" the younger Grey asked,

"Go peek out the front door. Twenty bucks says that the pizza kid is still out in his car."

Cristina nodded and moved to the door, and to her surprise, the rickety old Ford Taurus was still parked in the drive.

"What is he doing?"

"Probably fantasizing about Izzie."

"Huh?"

By now they were all seated on the floor, with pizza in front of them, drinks close by.

"He remembers Bethany Whisper," Meredith explained.

Cristina joined in the laughter.

"Oh, you're kidding. You really think he's jerking off in the driveway?"

"Probably."

"Wait, I'm confused," Lexie interjected. "Who's Bethany Whisper?"

"Oh, you missed all of that. Izzie is Bethany Whisper."

"Huh?"

Izzie stopped giggling long enough to explain.

"I grew up dirt poor, and didn't have any money for medical school, so I did some modeling. Some bathing suits, mostly lingerie. Bethany Whisper was that lingerie persona."

"Wow! Really? Does anyone else at work know?"

The other three women dissolved into giggles.

"Uh, yeah. They know. Just ask Alex about that," Meredith said almost choking on her pizza.

"Alex was okay with it?" Lexie asked her sister.

"It was Alex who made sure everyone knew about Bethany Whisper."

"He plastered the walls of the hospital with photo copies of my last shoot."

Lexie's mouth dropped and she looked at the former model.

"And you forgave him?!"

"Not before she told him off in the locker room in front of everyone, and gave all the other male interns a vision that I'm fairly certain they still have not forgotten. It was awesome."

"Thanks, Cristina."

Lexie peered out the window.

"Guys, the kid's still out there."

"What did you do to the pizza boy?" Cristina asked

Izzie shrugged and Meredith spoke up.

"Izzie gave him a little whispery parting gift, and then little Jeremy decided to make his presence known. I kind of felt sorry for the horny little thing."

"He couldn't have been more than fourteen when that last shoot came out."

"I'm no expert, but I would venture a guess that teenage boys remember the first woman they fantasize about. Kid probably is still a virgin, and you whispering to him is a close as he is going to get for a while."

They all dissolved into giggles, their drinks clearly working.

"Hopefully the kid will get some soon, if he's getting aroused by a whisper."

"I guess sixteen is about right. I mean for most kids today, right?" Lexie asked.

"I was fifteen," Meredith said, looking as retrospective as one can after 5 tequila shots.

"Oh, do tell!" Cristina knew this would be good.

"Okay, well, I was fifteen. It was summer time."

"Was this during your pink hair phase?"

"No, this was a little bit before that. I was still in that awkward trying to figure out who I was phase. You know, braces, frizzy hair, bad clothes."

The others nodded.

"So, I liked this guy Bobby Lancaster. He was a year older, but had gotten held back in the seventh grade. He was adorable. All the girls were gaga over him. So we had been flirting at the end of freshman year, and he wanted to meet up over the summer. There was a park in between both of our houses, so we decided to meet there. For a while it was just flirting, and then a few weeks later he kissed me, and before I knew it ... he was taking his pants off and holding up a condom. I knew what he was doing, and I knew all about sex. I mean, lets be honest, Ellis was never one to beat around the bush when it came to something a medical as sex. Anyway, I wanted to, so we did. Up against a tree in a park at night."

"A tree! Meredith!" Izzie exclaimed in horror

"I still don't look at parks the same way."

"How bad was it?"

"Hurt like hell. He lasted about 45 seconds once he got inside me. If that long. It was sooo bad."

"Wow! That sucks, Mere. Did the other Grey sister fare any better?"

Three sets of eyes turned to Lexie.

"Well, not really. I was a lot older. It was freshman year of college. I was eighteen and knew what I was getting myself into. I had been going out with John Bartlett for a few weeks. He was in my American government class. Very cute, in that bad boy frat brother sort of way. He was far more experienced than I was. So we were making out in his room at the frat house, and I was convinced I was going to do it, it was a little bit awkward when he realized I was virgin, but it was a score for him, so he didn't really care. We got a little bit carried away, and I wound up hitting him in the mouth with my head. Split his lip right in two. Had to take him to the hospital and he got eight stitches."

The girls were falling all over themselves at the hilarity of the image of Lexie busting some guys lip while having sex.

"Any first time story that ends up in the emergency room is a good one. Oh God, that is the funniest thing ever," Meredith said, lying flat on her back with shot glasses all around her.

"All right, Stevens, It's your turn."

Izzie's face turned suddenly somber and her giggles stilled.

The other girls quieted at her change.

"Izzie? If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to."

"No, Meredith, its fine. You guys are my friends, you should hear this from me. I was sixteen. He was Keith White. We had sex in the back of his pickup truck, and nine months later I gave a baby girl up for adoption. Never heard from him again. End of story."

"Izzie ..."

"Seriously, guys. I'm okay now. Really. And now you know about my little girl. Meredith, I need tequila. No more wine for me right now," she said, lightening the mood with alcohol.

"Okay, one shot coming up."

Lexie finally spoke up, while mixing up her third margarita of the night.

"That just leaves Dr. Yang."

"Seriously, Grey, you just told me how you sent your first to the emergency room. We're past formalities. Cristina. I'm Cristina."

"Okay, Cristina!" Lexie said slightly louder than she anticipated. Nobody else noticed.

"Well, I grew up in Beverly Hills, so there were always parties going on. So on my sixteenth birthday my best friend's mother threw me a party. My mom wouldn't throw me one like I wanted, so I didn't tell her that Celia's mom gave me one. She was an ex soap-star trying to relive her youth through her daughter, so it was perfect. She provided the alcohol and the location, a great penthouse at the Beverly Hills Hotel. There were all sorts of Hollywood types there. It was amazing. Toby Stanton was there, and we were introduced. He told me that, since I was the birthday girl, I got a special gift from him, and that I had to meet him in the hot tub on the private rooftop. I'd had enough to drink at that point I was going to do whatever he wanted me to do. ..."

"Wait a second!" Izzie exclaimed. "You gave up your cherry to Toby Stanton. He was such a hunk back in the day. He did all of those movies with the gross out teen sex humor. I loved him. I think I had a poster of him over my bed at one point."

"Didn't he come out of the closet a few years ago?" Lexie asked.

"Yep. I gave it up to a gay man."

Again, all the women erupted into giggles. Meredith poured another round of shots and the giggling continued.

"Was he any good, at least, Cristina?"

"Nope. Just in and out. I don't think he even came. So the gay thing was no surprise later on."

More laughs filled the room.

"So, since we are on the subject, the next question is who was your best ever? Izzie, you go first this time."

"Why do I have to go first, Mere?"

"Because ... just because."

"Meredith!"

Cristina stepped in.

"No, let's just guess. Is it someone we know?"

"Yes."

"Okay, so that narrows it down. It's either Alex or George, unless Barbie managed to bed Sloan or Shepard and didn't tell us."

She ignored the glare coming from Meredith.

"It has to be Alex!" Lexie said, shocking everyone with her outburst.

"What?!"

"I love George to death, really I do, but when it comes to sex, he's no competition for Alex." Her eyes went wide when she realized what she had just blurted out.

"Lexie, did you sleep with George?"

"No," she lied.

The three faces looking at her clearly said that they did not believe her.

"Okay, fine. I am sleeping with him. As in present tense. And he's a kind and gentle lover, but let's be honest, Alex is about as good as it gets when it comes to the bedroom."

"She's right. He's amazing in the sack."

Cristina couldn't believe what she was about to ask, but the alcohol in her system prevented her from stopping it from flying out of her mouth.

"What does Evil Spawn do that makes it so good."

Izzie and Lexie each exchange a knowing glance.

"Seriously, I want to know, too," Meredith adds in.

"Well, for me," Izzie tries to word this properly, "its his hands. He's good with a scalpel in the OR, but damn, he knows how to use his hands in bed. And he has amazing stamina."

"Well, practice makes perfect." Cristina interjected, causing them to dissolve into giggles for about the millionth time that night.

"Plus ..." Izzie finally continued.

"Plus, he's hung like an ox."

"Lexie!!"

"What you know its true!"

"Well, yeah ... yeah it is."

Cristina and Meredith just stared, mouths slightly ajar, at the revelations about Alex's ... assets. The Asian woman was mentally cursing herself for even thinking about being in bed with Evil Spawn, while the tiny brunette was wishing she was currently single.

"So, he was your best, too, Lexie?"

"Oh, yeah. by far. But I love George, so its all in the past. Believe me, Izzie, you have nothing to worry about."

Izzie smiled at the younger Grey, but the moment was disrupted when laughter poured out of Cristina's mouth.

"What?"

"I just realized that I'm the only one here that hasn't had sex with George," she slurred.

"Hey, that's right!"

"He's a regular Mark Sloan."

"Seriously! Between the three of us, Olivia, and Callie, he's a manwhore."

"What's that old nursery rhyme? Georgie Porgie, puddin' and pie, kissed the girls and made them cry." That earned Cristina a pillow forcefully tossed her direction from Meredith's side of the table. "Oops. I forgot that he literally made you cry. Sorry Mere."

"That was mean, Cristina."

Meredith's words were beginning to run together. Izzie, who was possibly the most sober of them all figured discussion time was over, and they all knew who Meredith and Cristina would say about their best sex.

"Movie time, guys?"

"Yeah, what'd you get?

"That new one with Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaghey. With the treasure and the boats." Izzie moved from her spot on the floor to put the movie in. She stumbled her way across the room.

"Okay, what's the game?"

"Huh?"

"The drinking game. What's it going to be?"

"Well, its a movie set at the beach with Matthew McConaghey. Every time he is shirtless, we take a drink."

"Sounds good to me."

"Me too." Meredith tried to hold up two fingers, but it she couldn't figure out how to make the third one stay down.

Izzie sat on the couch as the movie started. She was looking at the DVD cover, as the previews played.

"Is my body as good a Kate Hudson's?"

"What?"

"I am looking at this picture and I'm not sure who has the better body?"

"Izzie, I think you are drunker than you think. I think," Meredith confused herself.

"Seriously, guys. Look." She began unbuttoning her floral blouse, exposing toned abs, killer curves, and perky boobs covered by a light pink lace bra.

"Okay, Barbie, put your clothes back on. And yes, you do have a better body. And I'll bet they airbrushed Kate Hudson. There are you happy you have better body than a fake Kate Hudson. Are you happy?"

"Yes."

Izzie plopped back on the couch, blouse still unbuttoned. The movie and the drinking game began. The first scene came on, and everyone took a sip. They knew they'd have to re-watch the movie if they wanted to remember any of it.

* * *

"Nice catch on the aneurism, Karev."

"Thanks, Dr. Shepard."

They were exiting the scrub room after a grueling night in the OR. The clock on the wall read 5:30 am. They walked down the hall together as Alex checked the voice mails on his cell.

"Have you heard from Izzie or Meredith?"

"Nope. I know that they were having a girls night at the house."

"Yeah."

"Izzie said something about chick flicks and alcohol, so I'm kind of afraid to go home. No telling what I might find."

"Need some back up?"

"I might. I'm heading home after I change."

"I'll meet you downstairs."

Half an hour later, Alex and Derek opened the door the Meredith's house.

"Oh, my God."

They stood frozen at the sight in front of them. Pizza was everywhere, empty alcohol bottles were strewn around, as were glasses and plates.

"They are going to try to get me to help them clean this up."

"Don't do it, Karev."

They moved a little further into the living room to inspect the four sleeping forms.

Izzie was curled up on the couch, her shirt unbuttoned, lacy pink bra out for all the world to see. Meredith was sitting up, head leaning against the coffee table, glass of tequila still in hand. Cristina was using her best friends foot as a pillow and drooling on it accordingly. Lexie was sprawled across the floor with a piece of what appeared to be pepperoni stuck to her forehead, empty margarita glass upside down beside her.

Without a word, Alex got out his cell phone and began taking pictures. A few that showed all the damage, and one of each girl individually.

He looked at Derek and smiled.

"Blackmail," he whispered.

The older man grinned, and whispered back, "I want copies."

Alex nodded.

"Should we wake them?"

"No, let's move them to beds, but let them sleep. Meredith's neck is going to be impossibly sore from sleeping at that angle, and if we move her, Cristina will wake up."

The men both knew that Cristina could kill them if they woke her. They pondered for a moment, until Derek spoke up.

"I'll get Meredith and Lexie."

"How come I have to get Cristina?" Alex whined quietly.

"Because, I'm your boss."

"Fine," Alex scowled.

"What should we do with them," Derek asked.

"Well, put Meredith and Cristina in Meredith's room. They do that all the time when you are working. I'll put Izzie in her room, and you can put Lexie in my room."

Derek looked at Alex with a very confused look on his face.

"I've been sleeping in Izzie's room for a while, anyway."

"Ah."

Alex leaned down to pick up Cristina, so that Derek could get Meredith.

"Oh, Evil Spawn, take me!"

Alex looked down at the woman in his arms, still sound asleep, as Derek stifled a laugh. Cristina was clearly not conscious as she began to rub her hand up and down his arms, mumbling incomprehensible words. Derek and Alex deposited the women into Meredith's bed, and walked back to the living room.

"What was that all about?"

"I have no idea, but when I use that against Yang, you have to back me up that it did actually happen."

"I'm there for you, man."

"When I take Izzie upstairs, I'm going to crash myself. You're welcome to hang around."

"Yeah, I think I'll stay. I'll just, you know, clear the pizza boxes and discarded clothing off the couch and take a nap."

"Good. Because I really don't want to be alone in a few hours when they're all puking and crabby and hung over."

"You make it sound so inviting, Karev. "

Alex leaned over and placed a kiss on Izzie's cheek. As he picked her up off the couch, he heard her softly say his name.

"Alex?"

"Yeah, I'm here. I'm taking you to bed now. Go back to sleep."

She was lightly snoring on his shoulder as soon as the words came out of his mouth.

Derek was coming out of Alex's room after putting Lexie in the bed as Alex opened Izzie's door.

"I give them about three hours before the puking starts," the younger man looked down at the woman in his arms.

"Yep, better get sleep while we can. I think I'll put trashcans beside Meredith, Cristina and Lexie before I go back down stairs."

"Good idea. I don't want to be cleaning it up."

"We should call O'Malley. Let him come enjoy this with us."

"We'll do that when the fun starts."

Derek disappeared down the stairs and Alex tucked Izzie safely under the covers and then joined her there, making sure she was facing the side of the bed where he had placed the trashcan.

Three hours later, right on schedule, Izzie lurched out of bed, hand over her mouth. Alex was startled awake, but quickly grabbed the trashcan and handed it to Izzie as she deposited the contents of her stomach. He held her hair while she threw up, rubbing circles on her back with his other hand.

"Oh," she said when she finished, "I feel like I got hit by a bus. I didn't get hit by a bus did I, Alex?"

"No, but it's no wonder you feel like that with all of the empty bottles all over the living room."

"I need to go rinse out my mouth."

He helped her from the bed and out into the hallway. As they were walking toward the bathroom, they heard a voice from Alex's room.

"Oh my God!"

Izzie suddenly sprinted to the bathroom, mouth covered again.

Alex went to check on Lexie.

She wasn't throwing up, but looked quite green.

"What am I doing in here? In your room. God, you are such a pig. You're with Izzie and ..."

"And I slept in Izzie's room. We put you in here so you could have a bed to yourself."

"Oh ... Oh, no!"

She covered her mouth and joined Izzie in the bathroom.

Holding back the hair of two puking women was not a great way to start a day off, but Alex did it anyway. He heard someone run from Meredith's bed to her master bathroom, so he called for back up.

"Shepard!"

Simultaneously, Derek poked his head into the hall bathroom.

"I'm on it!" He disappeared into the room across the hall quickly.

The two men spent the next hour wetting washcloths and holding back hair, knowing that their systems would eventually stop the puking.

The women all wanted showers, so Derek and Alex went downstairs to make a breakfast consisting of bland scrambled eggs and dry toast.

George came by after Derek had called him in for help. He gaped at the mess in the living room.

"What the hell happened here? It looks like a tornado went through an alcohol factory."

"Just wait til you see the survivors."

As if on cue from Alex's words, four women, all with wet hair, all wearing comfy sweat pants and tshirts, stumbled into the kitchen.

"You guys look like crap!"

"Shut up, George!" they all said in weary unison.

They sat at the table as Alex finished the cooking. Derek placed the eggs and toast on plates, and George delivered the plates to the women.

"Evil Spawn cooked? Haven't I thrown up enough?"

"Awe, Yang. You love me, you know you do."

"No, I don't," Cristina snapped back, not in the mood to spar with him.

"That's not what you said this morning."

The fork full of eggs that she was lifting to her mouth stopped in midair.

"What are you talking about?"

"You were a feisty little thing when I was taking you upstairs. I think your exact words were 'Take me, Evil Spawn!'"

"Oh, God. That didn't really happen ... did it?"

"I've got a witness, Yang."

"Who?"

Derek grinned at the woman who was turning red before her eyes.

"Dammit." She looked at the others for help, but they seemed too focused on keeping their breakfasts down.

"Also, we've got pictures."

That got the other women's attention.

Before he could defend himself, they all leapt out of their chairs, ran to their respective bathrooms, and continued to try to get the night before out of their systems.


End file.
